Don’t you hate when your children spout off some incriminating piece of wisdom that you don’t want to admit but you simply cannot deny! Sometimes the innocence and curiosity of youth can be a gateway to greater insight and can reintroduce us to things we once knew but have forgotten.
An apology like no other
A while back I had a friend who posted to facebook that she had just finished a pretty heated argument with her little girl. Moments before she had posted, her little girl came out of her room, shuffling her little princess slippers, with all the sincerity she could muster and said to her, “Mommy, I’m really sorry I yelled at you…” Then she paused.
My friend looked at her daughter, almost with tears in her eyes and said, “Thank you honey. That was very nice of you to apologize.” While they enjoyed a spontaneous, crouched embrace in the hallway; the kind that every parent longs for, her daughter softly spoke again. “Mommy, I’m sorry you yelled at me too.” And… there it was.
Kid wisdom #1: “It’s just as important for us as parents to apologize and recognize our own faults in conflicts with our kids, as it is for them to do so.”
A deep question for Dad
I’ve had multiple run-ins with my children confounding me or sharing some simple, convicting morsel of truth.
Recently, I took my sons to the Hill Aerospace Museum in Utah. As we walked through the museum looking at all of the “cool” planes from every era, there were posters of various wars the planes had been used in as well as actual guns and bombs.
As we walked, I could tell that my 5 year old son, Eli was thinking deeply and seemed to be upset by something. I stopped and asked him, “Hey bud, are you ok?” He looked right at me and quickly replied, “Yeah Dad, but… Why do people use guns and bombs like these against each other? Why do they want to hurt other people?”
I didn’t know what to say.
He wasn’t looking for a long, drawn out description of social, political and economical purposes for war. He was simply asking, “What could possibly be so important that people would want to hurt and even kill others?” All I could say in the moment was, “ I don’t know bud.” This question of a five year old boy, is something worth thinking about.
Kid wisdom #2: “Is there anything more important than people and relationships? We can be more empathetic and kind. We can be compassionate and show concern for those that are hurt and those that suffer from war and violence with a child like heart. This is where peace begins.”
The 8 year old motivational speaker
We read a lot in our home. Our boys love to read books and look at the pictures. Our bedtime routine usually consists of 20-45 minutes of story time and they have other time during their day that they read on their own or with their mom while I’m at work.
Recently, Camille was trying to tidy up around the house and my oldest son Cuylar was begging his mom to come read to him. My wife reported that she kept saying, “Maybe. We’ll see.” Cuylar persisted and Camille continued to reply, “We’ll see. I’ll try to get to it in a bit.” Finally Cuylar said kindly but firmly, “Mom, if you don’t commit, you’ll never do it!” When I heard this, I laughed a full belly chuckle. He reminded me of Yoda in Star Wars saying, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Needless to say, my wife made the commitment and they had a wonderful reading session together.
Kid Wisdom #3: “Get rid of ‘maybe.’ Be less wishy-washy and more resolute. Be honest, say what you mean and mean what you say. Be decisive and follow through.
Question: What stories do you have of unsolicited wisdom your children have imparted to you?
Don’t forget to download your FREE copy of “5 Jump Starters for Powerful Family Cycles: Creating Happier and More Effective Parenting THIS Week!”