One of the Most exciting things about reviewing Yell Less Love More is that I get to give away one autographed copy of the book and a bunch of other Orange Rhino goodies that Sheila has provided for the TRU Parenting readers. You can enter to win the autographed book, Orange Rhino Swag bag or Orange Rhino keychain at the bottom of this post. Good luck, with your journey to stop yelling and with winning the book!
I screamed. It wasn’t just a little yell. It was a blood curdling shriek. The people in the car next to me looked at me, first in dismay, and then disgust.
Several years before I became a father I worked a summer job in Texas spraying pest control. I drove around Austin and San Antonio and sprayed chemicals in people’s homes to get rid of all of their creepy crawlies. On one particularly hot and stressful day I was almost a full hour behind on my route and I was stuck in traffic. I was annoyed and furious, so I yelled. The windows of my truck were down and all of the people in the cars looked at me like I was crazy. I yelled so hard that it actually hurt my throat. Prior to my outburst I had been sitting in my truck listening to the radio inching along with all the others on the road next to me, but with my scream came a new level of misery. It actually prompted the people around me to respond with honks, inappropriate hand gestures and even riskier driving. I couldn’t believe the incredible negative impact my yelling had, not only on me, but on the people around me. Not only did I not feel any better, but now my throat hurt as well and the drivers around me took on the role of an enemy rather than simply a fellow traveler.
Within a year of my embarrassing outburst in the pest control truck I met the beautiful girl that is now my wife. On many occasions I thought about what happened that day in Texas and knew that I never wanted my wife or children to look at me the way those people did on the freeway. I never wanted them to have feelings towards me similar to what the other drivers had.
That was not the last time I yelled, nor was it the first, but for some reason it was a significant moment in my journey to yell less and love more. In the Orange Rhino book “Yell Less, Love More” the author Sheila, had a similar “aha” moment when she saw herself through the eyes of another and finally realized that was not who she wanted to be.
If you have ever struggled with managing your emotions, or more specifically with yelling as an expression of those emotions, you know that change doesn’t happen all at once. However, every small step makes a difference that is magical and can transform our lives and relationships.
That is what the wonderful book from the Orange Rhino represents to me. It embodies the courage and commitment of TRU Parents to yell less and love more even when it gets hard, even when we falter. It challenges us to never give up. It’s worth it, you’re worth it, your kids and family are worth it. It also gives us amazing tools to help us finally persevere and triumph over the screaming beast within.
Sheila from Orange Rhino has a fabulous way of helping readers feel safe and capable of reaching their goal of not yelling. She invites you into her story, gently takes you by the hand and shows you the way to overcome your compulsive outbursts. She doesn’t scold you or demand that you change overnight. Rather, she explains she is right there with you experiencing victories and setbacks. Her stories share the new found joys that come from a life without the yelling. Her determination to get up again and again helps you realize you are not alone in your struggle against yelling.
I’m an action oriented kind of person. I don’t just want a nice story that makes me feel better about my mess ups or that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I want a book that shows me how to move forward and then says, “now, get to work.” I love a challenge. I love a book that will bring my hidden flaws to light, not for the sake of shaming me, but to genuinely make me better and help me reach who I really want to be. Yell Less, Love More delivers that challenge for 30 days in a row.
Some of my favorite tips to stop yelling include…
- Orange Rhino reminders. Create reminders around the house and utilize the color orange to help you take the reminders with you everywhere you go.
- Track and know your triggers
- Blow Bubbles. This helps you feel more childlike and helps regulate breathing and heart rate.
- Practice meditation regularly (If you would like to learn more about the practice of relaxation and meditation, check out the TRU Calm Parent Relaxation and Self-Renewal Series)
- Remember kids are people too, and what matters most
The Orange Rhino’s daily revelations, actions and tips alone are worth the price of the book, and then some. Each section in the book represents a day, a thought, an action and several practical, useable tips to put you well on the path to a yell-less life.
What it has done for me
Yelling is a struggle I wrestled with years ago, but it is rarely my struggle now. However, that does not mean that I don’t have other ways that I inappropriately express frustration, irritation or anger with my kids. Yell Less, Love More has helped me to gain greater awareness, identify my own personal struggles and find helpful, practical solutions of dealing with personal struggles. The self regulation methods were coupled with amazing new ways to help me really connect with my children.
Yell Less, Love More is TRU
One of the measuring sticks I use as a TRU Parent in evaluating what parenting information I use and share is whether the information, techniques, tools or actions help me to fulfill the 3 principles of TRU Parenting (Teaching, Relationship and Upgrading Myself.) I always ask…
- Does this help me to Teach my child what I want and intend for them to learn?
- Does this help me to build a stronger Relationship with my children?
- Does this help me to Upgrade and improve myself so that I can cope more effectively with the stresses of life and parenting and model healthy living for my children?
The Orange Rhino and Yell Less, Love More is TRU. The principles, attitudes, skills and techniques will help every one of us to teach our kids more effectively and with greater influence. Yelling less will help us to build rock-solid relationships that will weather storms and stand the test of time. Finally, it will help us to upgrade ourselves to be a calmer, happier person and parent.
No matter where you are in your journey to stop yelling, keep going. I feel that is one of the most important messages of the book. “Don’t give up!” There will be days that you struggle. Some will be harder than others. There will even be times when you think you are done and you’ll never go back, but then you’ll slip. That is not the end. That does not take away the value of the months, days, hours or even minutes that you have stopped yelling. See the value in the moments of victory. Celebrate them! Forgive and apologize when necessary and move forward. Create those successes again. One day you’ll wake up and realize you haven’t yelled in a year, and along with that you will see all the ways your life and family have been blessed and grown because of it.